Die, die, die my darling!!

Die, die, die my darling
Don't utter a single word!
Die, die, die my darling
Just shut your pretty eyes
I'll be seeing you again
Yeah, I'll be seeing you, in HELL!!!

Before you get surprised as to why such a start to the blog , let me explain. Picture this, you have had a hard day at work. Things just did not go your way at office, you come home to believe that things wont go wrong furthermore and as you open the door you find....

Weeping bahus, monstrous saas and a huge gang of not-so-good-looking females scheming against each other.

How would you feel? Where would you go? When would the torture end? How would you convince your roomie to switch the channel and make her believe that there are other interesting things happening in the world? How? How? How?

So the torture starts at generally 7.30 pm and ends by 9.30.
Disclaimer : The synopsis of these serials has been done on the viewership time of 1.5 months and any discrepancy from the main story is purely because of lack of following and pure disinterest.... :-)

Time : 7.30 pm
Serial Name : Dulhann (Double N for Numerology)
Torturers : Vidya, Sagar, Sindura
Plot: Vidya is an illiterate who is married off to Sagar(bewildered and lost most of the time) who has a step sister named Sindura scheming to kill off her step bro Sagar and grab the "karodo ki jaaydaad"!!
Why it kills me: Lousy plot and hapless acting followed by superstitions. The other day an episode showcased a "baba" telling vidya that the following 3 days would be very tough on her "stupid" hubby. So what does our powerpuff girl do? She draws a "Sindoor ki laxman rekha" outside her room and asks her pati dev not to cross it. That scene almost killed me!!! I felt claustrophobic and giddy thinking how would my poor sagar stay in his room for 3 days, who would feed him, will he be saved ... err... no...I felt like punching in the face of the director for showing such superstitious behaviour on part of the characters.Do these people even realise where the world is progressing and what these people are showcasing in their serials???? Koi toh connection rakho!!!

Time: 8.00 pm
Serial Name: Kasamh Se ( Kasamh??????, spelling mishtake!! )
Torturers: Bani, Mr. Walia
Plot: Not worth mentioning. Same old run of the mill story. Philandering hubby avenged by too-sweet-to-be-real wifey. Hubby realizing his mistake and coming back to wifey and just when we think their problems are over and they might "live happily ever after", a new group of people starts plotting against them, esp the wifey!!! Hai re abala nari, kitni mushkil hai zindagi tumhari!!!
Why it kills me: The hero is too fat...simple!!! :-) On a serious note, why does wifey have to be shown so meek and timid all the time? The director commits the same mistake of showing the age old set up.

Time: 8.30 pm
Serial Name: Saat Phere ka safar (Something of that sort)
Torturers: Saloni, Nahar Banna
Plot: Yeah, the family is rajasthani in this case, so every character ends with a 'sa' like ma - sa, bhabhi- sa.. I got to know from my friend that Nahar Banna is into his 3rd marraige with saloni now. So, as you see i could not fathom much about this serial except that Saloni and Nahar Banna, both simply cannot act.
Why it kills me: It doesnt kill me much, because I am too busy getting slow poisoned with the food made by our maid at that time. :-)

Time: 9.00 pm
Serial Name: Betiyaan (Some subtext followed it , but sadly i do not remember it now)Torturers: I know only faces from this serial, no names except one called Hasmukh bhai.
Plot: "Betiyaan toh paraya dhan aur baap pe bojh hoti hai re, pushpa!!!" No, this is not a line from this serial but a one-statement synopsis of it.
What it kills me for: Good marathi actors acting in this one trying very hard to get their Hindi diction right. No matter how much they try, the marathi accent invariably surfs up now and then and it always kills me. Moreover, hasmukh bhai(whom i found out is a side character and not a main one) is shown so weepy that you wonder who named him hasmukh bhai in first place. Forced humour, any one?

So, at the end of this torture , I have absolutely no mood to switch and change the channel and reduce the aftermath of these serials.
I wonder many times, what is the purpose of these serials? Do they truly provide any entertainment value? The people shown in here are always black or white. Why cannot people have shades of grey which actually is a fact. No one is too good or too bad in real life also.
Why do the women have to be shown always scheming against each other and the men either absolutely dumb or perpetually philandering?
I agree to the fact that these serials have revived TV as a powerful media, spawned a multi crore industry, generated employment, given a second lease of life to the flop heroes of bollywood but have they realised at what cost this all came for?

These serials are being discussed as hot topics over the dinner table. What happened to politics, sports or other things that happen for real? Why is there such a big hue n cry over "Mihir Virani" dying and people calling up Ekkttaa KKapoorr( I don't know what's right according to her numerology) and asking him to bring back? Was he for real? No!

I can truly sympathise with men coming home tired from work only to see their wives glued to the TV set, totally involved in these painfully agonising soaps. And the channel change is strictly banned too!!! Poor souls!!!

My concern is people are too soon forgetting that what happens in those serials is not a reality. The line between fact and fiction is soon becoming a blur. Don't let that happen!!

Life is much more bigger and brighter than the world they show in these soap operas!

So, next time you see any K-serial or any poor imitation of it,, switch of the TV set, make a nice cup of coffee and do something meaningful. Believe me, it will be worth it!!!
And also, say a prayer for makers of all these serials because I am not going to stop chanting......

Die, die, die my darling!!!! :-)

Now, will somebody please explain all this to my beloved roomie???

India Captured!!!

I had received these snaps around an year back and was completely smitten by them then. Adhering to the universal truth - What goes around, comes around! - I received this mail again today and not to mention, was again lost in admiring these. In my opinion, these snaps capture the true essence of India!
So, here's one to my India.....

The Taj always continues to amaze me, this one is a favourite!

The City of Joy!

Talk about colors!!! Holi hai!!!



I like the expression on this old man's face!!!

Des Pardes

10 months into the glorious land of opportunities (aka US of A) and how do I feel? Well, a mixed bag of emotions really. Pleased to see Indians all around, I never really felt out of place here. With my colleagues around me always, it was a cake-walk and needed no amount of "adjustment" into the foreign land.
All was going well, till we started interacting with the supposedly "American" boss and his colleagues. We have these small "know-your-team" kind of meetings from time to time which are more or less restricted to drawing comparisons between Indian ways and American ways. A round table conversation goes something like this:

Participants : T, J, Ty,Ru, Boss and I (*)
* - Names have been changed to protect identity.

Boss (on a telecon to some female) : So, where do u sit, xyz? (I dont remember her name :-))
xyz : Oh, its a beautiful cubicle, you know, kind of overlooking the river. It's very peaceful.
Boss: Ah, that's awesome!!!! Ashwini, do you have rivers in India, do you know how a river is like?
Me : Ofcourse! Haven't you heard of the Ganges?
T : I believe 'that' river is very polluted. Studies have shown that...(followed by some factual gibberish)
Ty : Whoa, that's unbelievable!!!
Ashwini : Well, we believe that Ganges is the most pious river and we worship her.
J : That's weird. How can you guys believe in that sort of thing?
Ru - (He's a GCH - Green Card Holder) - Well, we do. (followed by I-cant-help-that kind of look)
One of my friends faced a similar situation.Once a guy on Virginia beach asked her, “You are from India? Have you seen a beach before? Do you have beaches in India?”
Her response - "Go and get some GK. Ask any child in India and he will tell you the names of 7 oceans, and also the names of continents they cover."

So, this is it. There are immense differences between the two cultures but what irkes me is that the way these people make you realise of the fallacies of your culture.Now, I have been brought up in a pretty un-orthodox environment where the focus was more on studies but not on following the religion as such. But I am still very proud of my culture and will always be. Every culture has some idiosyncracies which fade away with time. Why? Because society evolves and culture is nothing but the norms created by the society. Atleast we have a culture, a history - they dont!
But then, do culture and history play so much of an important part for any country is my argument? I see things out here and notice the remarkable difference between Us and Them. A few examples which have stood out for me are:
1. Cleanliness - We folks have a long way to go in this aspect. This is the first thing that strikes you when you land here. The Cleanliness.
2. Protecting the historic monuments - This is something that I have always felt strongly about. India has had a rich history and can easily bank on the foreigners coming in. Although efforts are now being made to promote Brand India, but still, we need to protect these monuments too. Not only the TajMahal but we need to take care of all of them equally.
I can site many more examples about "Us and Them" but ....nevermind!

These folks have carved a niche for themselves here and the resultant cockiness is quite justifiable. We clearly have a long way to go before we can meet upto them. So, many a times, the arguments that these folks put forward are valid ones.
Like, while I was on a flight recently, my neighbour asked me - "Are you an Indian?"I replied affirmative and she said, "Oh, I have been to India too!!"I asked her how she found India and her answer amused me.
She said - "India is like an organzied chaos". I didnt know how to react, so she explained me saying that - "You know, everyone knows in India that it is a chaotic situation, in every field, but you guys find way out of everything, its like - like..." she couldnt explain it to me.
So I added "Like being trapped in a 'known' maze"????
And then it dawned upon me. We are indeed trapped in a 'known' maze - blinded by our faiths and angered by helplessness we face at the hands of innumerable factors which we have labeled as "beyond control". That's the magic called India.
Always defending by saying that we have a rich history and culture is not going to help. Its time we checked our premises again.

The Poll

Today's poll: Does Gandhigiri work beyond hit Hindi films???
Verdict : 45% - Yes , 55% - No

The verdict surprised me. I was expecting the negative answer to be miles ahead the positive one.After all who trusts the archaic values of truth and non-violence these days???Well I trust them, which is one reason why I voted for a Yes and was almost reassured to see the surge of votes in the positive favor. So, is it indeed an effect of the new bollywood school of thought or is it genuine, that is for time to tell. The other day I received a chain mail asking for flowers and letters to be sent to Arjun Singh to oppose the reservation policy. Is ur PM screwing ur appraisal, send him flowers; Is ur local goon harrasing u, send him flowers!!! Even if u dress up like Gandhi in a fancy dress competition, you are sure to gain the 1st prize, such is the hype that has been created.Suddenly, Gandhi is the new kid on the block and his Gandhigiri is, bole toh ekdam zhakass!!
But do we as persons really have the guts to implement these things in reality? For all said and done, Gandhigiri may seem to be very easy on outside but try and implement it, blv me, after 1 day of implementation , u will be eager to go back the old way. I started reading 'My experiments with truth' and gave it up the half way. I couldn’t stand the internal turmoil I went through while reading the book. Gandhigiri is no kids game.
Much has been said and written about this man. Well he was a celebrity in all sorts and ppl are always interested in celebrity lives. Even today, let a discussion spark over Gandhi at any place, be it a lunch table, or a filthy street corner, or amongst a bunch of useless guys smoking ; ppl dont bother to rip apart this man and make a mockery of his principles of truth and non violence.
Who needs these principles anyways? Or maybe we need to implement them more religiously now. Not hitting back does not make u lame, it makes u stronger. The Gandhian principles are not limited to truth and non-violence. It basically deals with control of mind and that is what we need the most and can be applied through out our life.
So till we take the first step, Gandhigiri will be limited only to crappy polls like these and act as a material for some more bollywood films so that they get lauded with praise. Some more discussions shall happen, talk shows with titles as 'Bhaigiri v/s Gandhigiri' will be aired, filthy politicians will talk about how Gandhi is still respected as the father of the nation and pay homage at Raj Ghaat...!!!
The day all of us take this chemical locha into our head, bole toh Gandhiji will smile.

The Birth of my blog!!

"So, what do you do in your free time? I really get bored in office these days.", I asked my friend.
We were on our regular coffee break, sipping pathetic coffee and bitching about our lives. I was expecting a question mark on my friend’s face in reply which more or
less said, "What the hell is meant by free time?". Instead, he obliged me with a simple answer saying, -----------"I read blogs".

Ah! I smiled. "Blogging, that's the 'in' thing isn’t it? Everyone seems to have a blog these days”.” Well, even I can have one then!", I thought. I was clearly falling into the
cliché.
The moment I decided to have my own blog, my brain was swept across by a scurry of thoughts and thus resumed a fight between the 'Cynical Me' and the 'Naive Me',
over who should have the last laugh.

Cynical Me : So! someone is thinking about blogging, eh!! How clichéd is that?

Naive Me : Well, to be frank, I need to do something before my brain rusts and hence I am going to try a hand at some leisure writing. So why not a blog!!

Cynical Me : Ever thought about what are you going to write in the same?

Naive Me : Well, let me think! (The Naive Me, always starts any sentence with a Well! , conveying the I-think-before-I-speak phenomenon). Whatever blogs I have
visited until now, had some pretty common topics.

Cynical Me : Don’t be bothered to tell me. I know all of them. Blogs fall into following categories :

1. Here I am, this is me - People owning this kind of blog always write about themselves. The blog serves more or less like a diary to them. Also not to forget the minute personal details those are divulged. At times there is a minute-by-minute description of a particular event that has happened during the course of the day which is then dutifully documented in this blog.

2. The Forwards Blog - Some people blog for the sake of blogging. They want a space of their own, but do not bother as to what they put in this space. So, these blogs are filled with copy-pastes of innumerable forwards that you receive each day. It’s like a central repository for all the forwards. Seek and thy shall find any damn forward that you had received a zillion years ago.

3. The I-Hate-You Ones - These blogs are generally penned by people who are bitter over everything that is happening around them. Just see the number of comments that are left for any particular post of theirs and you shall know, how explosive these people can write! Full of bad words(how else can you convey your anger), filled with strong sentiments, these blogs can be worth visiting once. Makes you realize what a bad world you are living in!

Naive Me : Well, I know what you are hinting at now. Even I know a couple of categories which blogs fall into.

4. The Movie Reviewers - These are the self-appointed movie critics. The entire blog is filled with the movies that they have seen, their own Top 10 and not to mention the [link-here] feature which invariably redirects you to imdb.com. The posts generally start with "Saw, 'XYZ' movie the other day and I felt I had wasted two precious hours of my life."

Aww, don’t tell me that! I was just going to see that suspense thriller before you divulged the plot!!

5. The Wanderlust’s Blog - People owning these blogs boast to be the ultimate wanderers. They upload the snaps of all the exotic places they have been to, followed by their own profile snaps at all these locations. Hello! Does anyone care to update the history of the place that they have been to? I can't relate to any place without knowing its history!

6. The Wanna-be Warren Buffets - I had visited such a kind of blog once and was totally dumb founded by the terms used in it. It had all the material (read - pdfs) on how to do stock broking, when to buy/sell a share et. al. The comments over there didn’t seem to be comments at all. They were more or less people seeking advices of stock broking from the blogger himself.

Cynical Me : Hmmm! So, what are you going to write about?

Naive Me : Well, well, well.....I don't really know! As of now, I have just thought about the name for my blog - A Clichéd Life!

Cynical Me : And do you care to explain why???

Naive Me : Yes, because, life is all about clichés. I may very well not go beyond any of other so-called 'clichéd' categories. I don’t know what my blog will read like. It would definitely not fall under Category 1 and Category 6, but it can have some movie reviews, my thoughts on current happenings, my expeditions. All in all it will be my space!
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So, here I am, writing my first article about how this blog was born in the first place.

Here's one to A Clichéd Life!